Conquering Fears

I’ve wanted to be a traveler for almost as long as I’ve wanted to be a writer. When I was ten, I hatched my plan that I would graduate early and travel to a kibbutz in Israel and from there, see the rest of the world.

Everything went according to plan. At seventeen, after never having attended so much as a sleepover camp, I flew across the world to live on a kibbutz for six months. Unsurprisingly, it was shell-shocking. It was hard and uncomfortable at many times, but to say the experience was life-changing would be an understatement. Though, that’s a story (a book, frankly) for another time.

I met my British boyfriend there and we devised a new plan, a way to see the world together. First, the States to save up money. Then Australia, where we’d get jobs as fruit-pickers, save up more money, before sojourning Europe. Our journey would end in the UK, naturally. But when we were in Australia, it all fell to pieces. He broke up with me.

Now, I was head over heels in love with this boy. Any heartbreak is painful, but I think we can all agree that, as with most things in life, the first is the worst. So, like any newly minted heartbroken teenager, I felt like my world had come to an end.

Not only had I lost the love of my life, but now I couldn’t see the world. This was the way my brain worked. (I’d just turned nineteen.) My dreams of travel were gone. Obviously, I couldn’t go to Europe alone—that was terrifying. Except, wait a minute…

And then it hit me. Maybe, because I was scared to do this thing, that’s exactly why I had to do it.

Traveling alone may not sound like a big deal to some, but I’ve met surprisingly few people who have done it. Especially women. I was terrified, but I knew it was what I needed. So, at nineteen years old, I conquered my fear and I traveled Europe alone. Yes, it was scary. But it was exhilarating and it helped me grow in indescribable ways.

Conquering fears takes courage, but it also takes trust in yourself. It’s uncomfortable and hard, but fulfilling. You can amaze yourself with what you’re capable of. You look at yourself through a new lens afterward.

Now, you know what else is scary? Publishing your writing. Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of the publication of my novella. It’s terrifying, the thought of strangers reading your art and critiquing it. But it’s also intensely rewarding. I was scared, but I forced myself to do it and I’m so glad that I did.

It’s been a remarkable rollercoaster experience, releasing my book into the world to be read, reviewed, and enjoyed. It’s given me such confidence and pride.

To anyone reading this, if you’ve bought my novella, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me.